Saturday, 14 February 2009

Keep On

Keep going when it seems like its over – keep going
When it’s all falling down around you and your freedom is torn - keep going
When you think it’s hopeless and all you dream about is quitting.
(Don’t quit.)

Life is a challenge, life is what you make it, life is a race that we are all running.
It’s not about money or fame or success;
It’s about trying and fighting and second chances.

Get on the bus and don’t get off,
Watch the train a Rollin’
Watch the rain a fallin’
And get on board.

Sometimes words and actions upset you; sometimes it all seems too hard.
Sometimes it’s easier to sit and wait.
It’s not about winning; it’s about running the race.

I know this is all cliché, I know this is all shit,
But I think the clichés are.......

I can’t do this without smoking.
I can’t write, or be ‘writerly’ without a rollie in my hand. Without that smoke rolling round my head; choking its way down into my lungs. That grey chain of calm, smooth, succulent smoke, and that image it holds in my head.
When I’m smoking, I’m working.
When I’m smoking, I’m writing, I’m a writer, I’m starved, I’m craved, I’m crazed, I’m crazy.
I am Jack.

But now, I’m just a girl,
Trying.
I’m just a girl with a rash on her arm, an ache in her head and a swirling sense of nausea in her stomach.
I am not a writer, the lights are bright, and the air is clean. This is NOT creativity.

But keep going, keep on, keep trudging along. Keep walking on through that cloud of smog, keep running the race.
‘Even when it seems the world is against you – I am always on your side.’

1 comment:

alice said...

hey Em!
These writings are really interesting.....although I now have a very strong image of a love starved, chain smoking, crazy ass, creativity starved mad woman, sitting, spending hours on her own in the dark.

A definite hark back to the good old days!!

Al x